A. Love at first sight happens:

1. All the time
2. Rarely
3. If you’re looking for it
4. Never

B. The difference between love and infatuation is:

1. There is no difference
2. Infatuation is more romantic
3. Love involves more of the total person
4. Love is more honest

C. Romantic intelligence starts with:

1. Self-awareness
2. A college education
3. Sexual experience
4. Romantic experience

D. It’s better to conduct your love life with:

1. Your heart
2. Your head
3. A combination of both
4. Without any preconceptions

E. Compatibility today is based more on:

1. Religious and ethnic backgrounds
2. Emotional levels
3. Educational levels
4. Economic levels

F. Sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy are:

1. The same
2. Mutually inclusive
3. Mutually exclusive
4. May exist both with and without each other

G. The smarter you are in school, the better you will be at:

1. Relationships
2. Solving math problems
3. Making a lot of money
4. Staying healthy

H. Romantic empathy is having the ability to:

1. Mirror you partner’s emotions
2. Intuit your partner’s emotions
3. Mock your partner’s emotions
4. Manipulate your partner’s emotions

I. Romantic mind reading occurs when:

1. You can read your partner’s thoughts
2. You are psychic
3. Your partner can read your thoughts and feelings
4. When you expect your partner to know what your thinking and feeling

J. Jealousy in you or your partner means:

1. You really care
2. You are insecure
3. You have good reason to be
4. There is something else that’s actually bothering you

K. When it comes to expressing feelings in your relationship, it’s better to:

1. Let them all hang out
2. Express your feelings freely
3. Judge each situation separately
4. Trust that your partner knows what you’re feeling

L. Emotional infidelity occurs when:

1. You cheat on your partner
2. You tell your best friend everything
3. Your emotional life is invested outside your primary relationship
4. You lie to your partner about how you’re feeling

M. One of the major signals that tells you to leave a relationship is:

1. You are losing yourself
2. Your partner is cheating
3. You hate his family
4. You are always arguing

N. You are naturally more attracted to someone who:

1. Is different from you
2. Reminds you of a parent
3. Is very much like you
4. Makes you laugh

O. You and your partner can use toxic or negative emotions to:

1. Create excitement
2. Express tensions and anxieties
3. Explore your fantasies
4. Become closer

P. Authentic sex occurs when you:

1. Are clear about what you want
2. Play act with your partner
3. Satisfy your lover
4. All of the above

Q. The romantically intelligent approach to online intimacy is to:

1. Let go of all your inhibitions
2. Experiment with your identity
3. Be wary
4. Don’t judge yourself

R. Romantic hypersight is:

1. Gazing intently into your partner’s eyes
2. Looking closely at the character of a potential partner
3. Training your partner to look at you
4. Detecting possible flaws in your partner

S. Romantic perseverance is the ability to:

1. Get even with a lover
2. See your relationship through the tough parts
3. Sustain the passion in your relationship
4. Ignore your feelings in favor of what is best for the relationship

T. If you disagree with your partner on an important issue, you should:

1. Leave him or her
2. Try to convince him or her of your point of view
3. Leave it alone and live with some ambiguity
4. Try to compromise

Scoring:

If you got 18 to 20 answers right, you are romantically intelligent.

If you got 15 to 18 answers right, you are getting there but need to brush up on your skills.

If you scored in the 12 to15 range, you definitely need to boost your Romantic IQ.

Below 12: Don’t start a new relationship until you read this book.

Correct answers:

A-2, B-3, C-1, D-3, E-2, F-4, G-2, H-2, I-4, J-2, K-2, L-3, M-1, N-3, O-4, P-1, Q-3, R-2, S-2, T-3.

Excerpt from Romantic Intelligence: How to Be As Smart in Love As Your Are in Life by Mary Valentis, Ph.D. and John Valentis, Ph.D.