What if you defined yourself by what you are good at rather than by what you are not good at? What if you asked “What went right?” What if you believed that those talents that came as easily to you as falling off a log were your greatest gifts? Can you imagine the momentum you would generate if you called yourself or your child “innovative problem solver” rather than “stinks at math.” It seems easy to believe that the motivation and confidence you gained by defining your child by his or her gifts would make it easy for your child to plow through weaknesses – lack of focus, difficulty paying attention to details, impulsiveness, lack of stick-to-it-iveness.

I’ve always been amazed that though the word “ADD” and “ADHD” are bandied about like the latest fad in some circles or alternatively, as a life sentence in other circles, few have asked a deeper question fundamental to a disorder defined by an attention deficit.

That question is “What is attention?” If you ask this question you find some unsettling answers. If you are awake you are paying attention all the time. So how can someone have a deficit of attention? It becomes obvious that an attention deficit boils down to a person not paying attention to what they are supposed to be paying attention to. Many diagnoses of children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder result from a child not paying attention in school or to their parents.

I wonder how things would be different if when we first noticed a child not paying attention to what he is supposed to be paying attention to, we paused before emitting a label. And in that pause we asked ourselves, “How do we increase attention?” This would be similar to noticing that a child could not play basketball and before we labeled him with a “Basketball Deficit Disorder” (BDD) we asked ourselves “How can I increase his skill in playing basketball?” In the case of basketball we know that the answer is that we can increase skills through coaching and practice.

It is also true that we can increase attention through coaching and practice. There are many methods for increasing attention. These techniques include various forms of meditation and one of the newest rages in the field of psychology – brain fitness training. Originally developed for the treatment of aging on the brain, its application to ADHD are obvious and ripe for exploration.

But there is another facet of attention, which we all know from our personal experience. Attention is fueled by an amazing resource – interest.

We pay attention to what we are interested in.

If you want to increase a child’s attention – or your own -- find out what he is interested in and use that as rocket fuel to propel attention. It’s a simple formula for giving a child a chance between a failure to pay attention and a label that stings.

guest blogger Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D. is the author of:

• The Gift of ADHD: How to Transform Your Child's Problems into Strengths
• The Gift of ADHD Activity Book: 101 Ways to Turn Your Child's Problems into Strengths
• The Gift of Adult ADD: How to Transform Your Challenges and Build on Your Strengths
• Listening to Depression: How Understanding Your Pain Can Heal Your Life