Current Articles | Categories | Search | Syndication
One of the most difficult dilemmas people face in the dating world is when to tell potential partners something that could scare them away. They hope that embarrassing histories might fare better when they've had a chance to secure a stronger footing first.
Even after we develop trust between us in a therapeutic setting, my patients often wait a long time before they reveal potentially off-putting stories. It can be gut-wrenching to talk about their financial mistakes, religious beliefs, family skeletons, traumas, failed relationships, quirky tastes, inheritable illnesses, or past sexual experiences. Most people are understandably nervous about the consequences of sharing delicate information. They anticipate that someone who is important to them will feel critical of what they've shared.
Most people understandably tell new people in their lives the things about them that are more inviting. Some of their past experiences have shown that partners who have grown to love them might forgive their transgressions more easily. They're willing to risk being seen as untrustworthy rather than give up the chance to prove otherwise from a better vantage point.
Read the rest of the blog piece on Psychology Today
Randi Gunther Ph.D. is the author of When Love Stumbles: How to Rediscover Love, Trust, and Fulfillment in your Relationship .
New Harbinger Publications
Susan Albers, PsyD
Ronald Alexander, Ph.D.
Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.
Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW
Elisha Goldstein, PhD
Randi Gunther, PhD
Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
Steven C. Hayes, PhD
Lara Honos-Webb, PhD
Susan Kuchinskas
Karen Leland
Christy Matta, MA
Michelle May, MD
Tammy Nelson, PhD
Sheryl Paul
Suzanne Phillips, PsyD
Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D.
Stephanie Silberman, PhD
Pavel Somov, PhD
Cassandra Vieten, Ph.D.
Susan Albers, PsyD "Comfort Cravings"
Ronald Alexander, PhD "The Wise Mind Open Mind"
Susan Bauer-Wu "Living Fully & Letting Go"
Stanley H. Block, MD "Come To Your Senses"
Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, MS, LPC "Teen Angst"
Elliot D. Cohen PhD "What Would Aristotle Do?"
Carolyn Coker Ross, MD, MPH "Real Healing"
Troy DuFrene "Fumbling for Change"
Russ Federman, PhD, ABPP "Bipolar You"
Lisa Firestone, PhD "Compassion Matters"
Robert Firestone, PhD "The Human Experience"
John P. Forsyth, PhD "Peace of Mind"
Paul Gilbert, PhD "Practice Compassion"
Barton Goldsmith, PhD "Emotional Fitness"
Ken Goss, DClinPsy "Practice Compassion"
Randi Gunther, PhD "Rediscovering Love"
Karyn Hall, PhD "Pieces of Mind"
Rick Hanson, PhD "Your Wise Brain"
Russ Harris, MD "The Happiness Trap"
Steven C. Hayes, PhD "Get Out of Your Mind"
Lynne Henderson, PhD "Practice Compassion"
Lara Honos-Webb, PhD "The Gift of ADHD"
Jonathan Kaplan, PhD "Urban Mindfulness"
Melissa Kirk "Test Case"
Bill Knaus, EdD "Science and Sensibility"
Randi Kreger "Stop Walking on Eggshells"
Marilyn Krieger, PhD "The White Knight Syndrome"
Mary Lamia, PhD "The White Knight Syndrome"
Karen Leland "The Perfect Blend"
Barbara Markway, PhD "Shyness Is Nice"
Kelly McGonigal, PhD "The Science of Willpower"
Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW "Contemplating Divorce"
Stephanie Sarkis, PhD "Here, There, and Everywhere"
Jefferson Singer, PhD "Life Scripts"
Shawn Smith "Ironshrink"
Olga Trujillo, JD "The Sum of My Parts"
Cassandra Vieten, PhD "Mindful Motherhood"
Ruth C. White, PhD "Culture in Mind"
Psych Central
Elisha Goldstein, PhD "Mindfulness & Psychotherapy"
Karyn Hall, PhD "The Emotionally Sensitive Person"
Christy Matta, MA "Dialectical Behavior Therapy Understood"
Suzanne Phillips, PsyD, ABPP "Healing Together for Couples"
Pavel Somov, PhD "360º of Mindful Living"
Web MD
Judith London, PhD
Sharecare
Annemarie Colbin, PhD
Margaret Floyd, NTP
Raychelle Lohmann, MS, LPC
Blake Taylor
Sheri Van Dijk
Ruth White, PhD