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Wednesday, January 25, 2012
how good are you at loving?

:: 0 Comments :: Article Rating :: love, sex, relationships, guest blogger 		 

It is often said that love is a feeling. Since feelings are subjective, this makes it very difficult to describe love let alone determine how much someone loves another person. However, I want to take a different approach. Love, I will show, is not merely a feeling. Rather it is an activity. Moreover, this activity involves skill-building. Thus you can work at cultivating your love for another. You can get better (or worse) at loving someone. It is also possible to rank how well you are doing at loving someone. In fact, I will provide a "love inventory" that will help you to determine just how good you (or your significant others) really are at loving.


"To love," said Stendhal, "is to derive pleasure from seeing, touching, and feeling through all one's senses and as closely as possible, a lovable person who loves us." This is the popular view of what love is--a deep, all-pervasive positive feeling toward another person. Indeed, it is such a view of love that leads many of us to ask questions like these: "Is this feeling that I have really love?" "Yes I feel comfortable with him (her), but is this love?" "I thought falling in love would feel like fireworks going off, and this doesn't." "We have great sex but I am just not sure if it's love."


Read the rest of the blog piece on Psychology Today


Elliot Cohen, PhD is the author of The Dutiful Worrier: How to Stop Compulsive Worry Without Feeling Guilty .
Posted By nhpblog / 10:36 AM / Wednesday, January 25, 2012
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