by guest blogger Randi Gunther, PhD, author of Relationship Saboteurs and When Love Stumbles

The media hype about older women seeking out young men for sexual contact has about worn me down. As a relationship therapist for four decades, I have certainly defended many unfairly labeled "dirty old men," who were just guys who fell in love with younger women for their beauty, energy, and potential for having children. Many of my older male patients have wanted to start families again and have created great second marriages.

Now I have a whole new group of valuable people to defend. In the past several years, I've had the pleasure of working with older women in relationships with often much younger men. They are not the "older women who frequent clubs to score sexually with younger men," as the new, and unfair definition is of "Cougars." They are quality, mature women who have been actively sought after by younger men for long-term, committed relationships. Yes, sex is an important part of their relationship, but there is so much more.

by guest blogger Randi Gunther, PhD, author of When Love Stumbles

You've made it past 50. You may have peaked in your career and are enjoying the fruits of those labors. Your kids have established their own lives, and your parents are still living their lives without your necessary support.

You can statistically expect about 30-plus more years to live. The time has come for you to reassess your options and decide where to put your energy. It's time to either just enjoy what you have already achieved, or think about using these last precious years to commit to a new journey.

If you're not planning to do the former, I'd like you to reconsider. Given the new research on aging, the happiest and healthiest older people choose the later. They treat the last third of their lives as a brand new challenge to remap their brains, open their hearts and embrace challenges they've never encountered before.

It may mean leaving unsolvable problems behind, letting go of situations that have no current rewards, and changing the way you live your life. It may also mean letting go of any barriers that could get in the way of your new purpose. Once your new dream unfolds, you will find countless ways to challenge those obstacles, and push beyond them.

Of course, as with any radical change, you will need to consider new resources as you choose your transformation. Though the following considerations are not meant to be a complete list, they offer a good beginning.

excerpt from The Juicy Tomatoes Guide to Ripe Living After 50

Hang gliding. Studying Russian history. Opening a bookstore. Sitting in the hammock and staring at the clouds. After fi fty, the attitude should be “It’s my turn now, dammit,” and even if it’s still a few credit card payments off, you can start thinking about what your dream might be. You can even plan for it.