by guest blogger Shawn T. Smith, PsyD, author of The User's Guide to the Human Mind

Do you feel like your husband or boyfriend has become lazy and uncaring? That he has stopped listening and no longer does his fair share? Are you two becoming increasingly irritated with each other over simple tasks?

It's a common pattern that can feed on itself and grow like an ugly weed. "I love you, snickerdoodle" turns into "you never help me anymore," followed by "maybe I would if you'd get off my back."

Let's talk about three of the most important things you can do to gain more cooperation out of your man. But first, an example of how not to motivate most members of the male species.

by guest blogger Olga Trujillo, author of The Sum of My Parts

My father, or Popi, as I called him when I was a child, did not speak English, only Spanish. My mother (Mame) also spoke Spanish as her first language, but she could speak English, too--even though she had a strong accent. My brothers and I learned Spanish first and only later learned English in school. We grew up in a traditional Latino home - well, sort of. We spoke only Spanish at home, ate foods that reflected my mother's Caribbean roots, believed in God, went to Catholic Church every Sunday, and our earliest teachers were the nuns of our local Catholic School.

My parents taught us about familia ("family"). According to my father, only one thing was more important than familia, and that was God. It wasn't until much later in my life that I noticed that my dad didn't really have any family besides us, really.

by guest blogger Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, author of Stronger Day by Day

It seems that the news has almost weekly reports of a famous couple who has experienced a breach in the marriage by one party or the other having extramarital relations. Today it's Arnold and Maria, last week it was Shania Twain's husband, before that Jesse James, Kelsey Grammar, John Edwards, David Letterman, Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, etc., etc., etc. The list certainly seems endless. So, what is going on?

excerpt from Splitting by Bill Eddy LCSW, JD, and Randi Kreger

Regardless of where you are right now in the separation and divorce process, we recommend an assertive approach (in contrast to an aggressive or passive approach) in dealing with the potential splitting that may already have begun. …An assertive approach involves actively learning about personality problems, cultivating energy for dealing with such problems, documenting events (what happened and what was said), and actively presenting your information to legal professionals, the court, or both.

It’s perfectly understandable and normal to feel like responding aggressively when someone acts aggressively toward you. You might try to eliminate your partner from your life and from your children’s lives, or trash her the way she trashed you, but this common mistake backfires in court. Legal professionals may view you as the splitter and an equal party (or the primary party!) engaged in misbehavior. Even if that isn’t true, you don’t want to give your partner any ammunition to use against you in out of court. An aggressive approach by you can increase your partner’s unwanted behavior. Resist the urge to act aggressively, and mentally prepare yourself; in the long run you will be very glad you did.

In a recent interview with WJBC, Sara Rosenquist, PhD, author of After the Stork: The Couple's Guide to Preventing and Overcoming Postpartum Depression , said that both women and men experience postpartum depression.

Listen to her interview here.

excerpt from Stronger Day by Day by Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW

The rate at which your divorce (and, for that matter, your divorce recovery) proceeds is an important factor that most people don’t consider until they are well into the process. But one day, you may begin to feel that matters are going too slowly or too quickly or you may notice that your spouse is trying to move faster or slower than what you are comfortable with. This is the pacing of the process, and each person has his or her own sense of timing.

Certain key factors determine your pace: whether or not the decision to divorce was mutual; whether the decision was sudden or well thought-out; and what your two personalities and temperaments are like.

by Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW author of Stronger Day By Day and Contemplating Divorce

I have been amazed by the number of people who absolutely get the relationship that those of us who are animal lovers have with our pets. I've also been amazed by how many people really don't get it.

You may be wondering why I am writing about this and how this is pertinent to what I normally write about -- marriage & divorce.

What has been astounding to me is how many people have told me that they had a harder time when their dog died that when they split up with their spouse. One woman told me she thought something was seriously wrong with her because she wept uncontrollably when she had to sell her horse and shed nary a tear when her husband moved out.

How is it that we can have a much stronger connection with an animal? A being with whom we can't converse or share our worries with?

by Susan Albers, Psy.D., author of 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food

Already fretting about how many calories are in pecan pie? Anxious about weight gain this holiday season? If you struggle with post-Thanksgiving food guilt, let gratitude be your guide this year. It sounds deceptively simple, but it can be a difficult mindset to adopt if you worry about what you eat. Enter the day with a grateful spirit to help you end the holiday without food guilt.

Stop Thanksguilting and start Thanksgiving. Here are five tips:

by guest blogger Pavel Somov, Ph.D., author of Eating the Moment

The act of giving thanks is more than just a gesture of gratitude. It is a unique teaching moment. Indeed, by expressing appreciation for this or that we teach the world about what matters to us, about what is existentially significant for us. With this in mind, let me ask you this: what contributions to your well-being will you be reinforcing this year with your gratitude? Will you be showing gratitude for financial, material, logistical help you have received this year or will you be emphasizing the importance of the contributions of support, friendship and companionship?

by guest blogger Richard Blonna, Ed.D., author of Stress Less, Live More

Because our values are so important to us, stress commonly occurs when our values collide with each other.

This often happens over the holidays when family, friends, and other loved ones come together and visit. Many people value family yet struggle with family-related values conflicts that crop up over the holidays. For example, you might value small intimate dinners with just a few family members but your visiting parents want to bring the whole family together at your house. You might value sharing simple, meaningful yet inexpensive gifts but your siblings like to buy expensive, trendy gifts for you and your children. You value classical music and good conversation but your uncle wants to put the football game on and shut off the music.

To cope with holiday stress, try the following tips: