by guest blogger Christy Matta MA, author of The Stress Response

Have you ever been so afraid of failing an upcoming exam that you avoided thinking about it altogether, becoming increasingly stressed and nervous as the exam approached? Or felt so guilty about having behaved poorly that you avoided the person involved, only to find that your guilt doesn't diminish with time? Been angry and gotten stuck in spiteful thoughts about someone?

by guest blogger Sheri Van Dijk, MSW, author of The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder and Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life for Teens

Mindfulness is a way of living your life so that you are in the present moment more often, with awareness, and with acceptance. Acceptance in this context doesn't mean that you approve of your experience, but that you simply acknowledge your present experience without judging it.

So what does this have to do with self-esteem? Everything! Just stop for a moment and think about this: How often do you really think about what you're thinking about? Have you ever had someone ask you what you were thinking about, and you had no idea? We're often completely oblivious to what we're thinking and feeling; and when we are aware of these things, we're often judging these internal experiences. Self-talk has a big impact on how you feel, and when you judge yourself or beat yourself up, it triggers painful emotions like anger, anxiety, disappointment and sadness; and it lowers your self-esteem.

Consider these questions to help you think about how you talk to yourself:

Quick Tip for Therapists by Sheri Van Dijk, MSW, co-author of DBT Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder

So what do we do with these unhelpful yes-buts? When the yes-but has become a pattern or habit, the clients need to become aware of it, and the most effective way to begin to increase awareness is for you to bring it to their attention (they can also use mindfulness to help with this if you've already gone over this skill). Gradually, they'll start to notice it themselves

Quick Tip for Therapists by Sheri Van Dijk, MSW, author of Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life for Teens, Bipolar Workbook for Teens and DBT Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder

Sometimes, one of the hardest things about psychotherapy is knowing how to set appropriate boundaries with clients. Usually therapists have come into this field because they want to help, so it can feel counter-intuitive to say "no" when a client contacts you excessively by telephone or email, tries to extend appointment times, or wants more frequent appointments. But not saying "no" can lead to negative consequences like burnout. So when clients start making excessive requests, it's important to think about a couple of things.

Quick Tip for Therapists by Sheri Van Dijk, MSW, author of Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life for Teens, The Bipolar Workbook for Teens, and The DBT Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder.

Sometimes a few minutes of venting can be helpful, providing emotional release and catharsis. But mostly, venting only increases emotions about the situation and isn't productive. So, what do you do when that's all the client wants to do in session?

Quick Tip for Therapists by Sasha T. Loring, MEd, LCSW, author of Eating with Fierce Kindness .

In dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), individual sessions are structured so that the ongoing crises do not become the sole focus of therapy, with the most important material discussed first and the less important material left until later in the session. But how can you differentiate between "most important" and "less important,"and what if our opinion of this is different from our clients'? Here's the structure that DBT follows:

Huffington Post feature by Sheri Van Dijk, MSW, author of The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder and The Bipolar Workbook for Teen

There are so many different types of psychotherapy out there nowadays, if you're dealing with emotional problems, how do you know what will be most effective for you? In my experience as a psychotherapist, clients benefit the most from working with a therapist who is flexible, and who tailors therapy to meet the needs of the client, rather than trying to fit the client to a specific mold. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers a wide range of skills a therapist can choose from, to suit the needs of clients at any given time.

by guest blogger Kiera Van Gelder, MFA, author of The Buddha and the Borderline

When Merinda Epstein, a Policy and Law Reform Officer of the Mental Health Legal Centre in Melborne Australia, made the decision to “come out” with borderline personality disorder as a consumer advocate, her therapist was horrified. She asked Epstein, “why would you want to talk about that diagnosis in public for? You’ve got a perfectly good psychotic diagnosis to use in public!”

Such unfortunately is the reaction many of us who self-identify as “borderline” encounter. You can be a drug addict, have depression, OCD, schizophrenia, or any other number of diagnoses and people will shake your hand and congratulate you on your courage and honesty. But if you say you have BPD, everyone—from counselors to well meaning friends to even DBT therapists, will prophesize that you’ve just ruined your chances of ever getting a good job, relationship or credit rating. The last thing you ever want to be in the line-up of mental illnesses is borderline. Even if you have it. Perhaps, especially if you have it.

I didn’t know this at first. I came to the diagnosis from the twelve step community, where they say “you can’t save your ass and your face at the same time.” I didn’t care what I had, so long as I knew there’d be a solution to it. And the doctor assured me there was, in the form of a new treatment called dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). I called one of my few remaining friends as soon as I got out of the doctor’s office. “Good news!” I gushed “I have borderline personality disorder! And it makes perfect sense!”

There was a pause on the other end of the phone and then Laura shrieked, “there is no f-ing way you are borderline!!” I pulled the phone away from my ear. “Why not?” “Think fatal attraction.. Knives and stalking. Psychobitch from hell. That’s not you!”

excerpt from The Bipolar Workbook for Teens

A chronic condition like bipolar disorder can be so overwhelming that it seems like it defines who you are. But you are not bipolar disorder, and bipolar disorder isn't you! You're a lot more than just someone with bipolar disorder.