by Sasha T. Loring, M.Ed., LCSW
I try to put myself in my clients' shoes as often as I can. When I think about "the first session" from a client's perspective, I usually think about how scary and intimidating it is to come into a session with a stranger and be asked all sorts of questions about your personal life. So when I first meet with a client, my first question is usually "What brings you to therapy now?"
I find that this open-ended question leaves the client with enough room to give me as much or as little information about herself as she'd like. And of course, while it's important that I get to know the client and how I can help, it's even more important that she feels comfortable, and that she begins to learn immediately that she can trust me. Without that trust, there can be no moving forward.
Quite often, opening with this question, clients will first talk about their partners, their work, their families, their medications…and gradually, they work their way around to themselves. Not peppering them with questions, and letting them tell their story in their own time and their own way helps to establish rapport and trust.
Of course, this doesn't work with every client. Occasionally, I run into someone who says, "Can't you just ask me questions?" and then, of course, I help them by doing so. But even with these clients, asking the right question can often help them to tell their story.
So I guess the moral of this story is that, by moving slowly, not pushing, and letting your client tell her story in her own way and time, you'll develop a better, trusting relationship with the client more quickly. Then you can really get down to work!