by Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D.

Most therapists are faced with a dilemma—while clients come to therapy to make their pain go away, most of us believe that clients need to feel in order to heal.

The first technique I use is helping the client create an inner resource to provide comfort when the pain is present. As an example, a client might imagine a hero figure such as a sports star or a real caring person in their life always being with them when painful memories surface.

“Don’t ever leave yourself alone with these feelings,” I tell a client who is confronting intense pain. When her pain emerged, she would imagine a beloved teacher or an admired leader to comfort and calm her.

“You don’t have to go swimming in your pain, you can just dip your toe in,” I tell clients who rightly fear the magnitude of their pain. I guide clients through a thirty-second exposure where they imagine their pain like a wave that crests and then goes away. They learn to make contact with their pain and then let it go at regular intervals in their daily lives.

Also by Lara Honos-Webb, Ph.D.