Drop the Rope in Your Tug-of-War with Anger

If you've tried to control problem anger before with little success, this book offers you a fundamentally new approach and new hope. Instead of struggling even harder to manage or eliminate your anger, you can stop anger feelings from determining who you are and how you live your life. Based on a revolutionary psychological approach called acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), the techniques in ACT on Life Not on Anger can help you let go of anger and start living your life to the fullest.

Your path begins as you learn to accept your angry feelings as they occur, without judging or trying to manage them. Then, using techniques based in mindfulness practice, you'll discover how to observe your anger feelings without acting on them. Value-identification exercises help you figure out what truly matters to you so that you can commit to short- and long-term goals that turn your values into reality. In the process, anger will lose power over your life-and, amazingly, you'll gain control over your life by simply letting go of your anger feelings.

Reviews

Anyone who sees their anger as a struggle, as something to confront, suppress, control- or, worst of all, ignore-will find this book to be a gift of life and hope. The authors offer practical ways of understanding the problem and debunking the myths of anger, all with genuine acceptance and compassion. This feeling is translated into practical exercises which are easy to use, and most importantly, they really work! I have been fortunate to witness this in my own practice, even with clients with severe trauma histories and self-destructiveness. Use these techniques on your own, use them in therapy, but by all means use them and find a gentle path toward healing in the presence of anger.
—Francis R. Abueg, Ph.D., founder and owner of TraumaResource and former associate director for research for the National Center for PTSD at the VA in Palo Alto/Menlo Park, CA

Empowering and compassionate, this book was written for people who struggle with anger and who find it hard to control their feelings of rage. The book describes a counterintuitive and extraordinarily insightful approach to living effectively with anger. In a lively and accessible voice, the authors describe scientifically based behavior therapy skills for letting go of our futile struggle to control anger and offer strategies to promote 'response-ability' for the one thing we can truly control: our actions. Through real-world examples, creative metaphors, and powerful experiential exercises, the reader learns to practice acceptance at even the most trying times. This book essentially is about love and freedom from unnecessary suffering--it teaches us to open up fully and to live compassionately with what is.
—Laurie A. Greco, Ph.D., assistant professor in the Department of Pediatrics at Vanderbilt University Medical School and John F. Kennedy Center for Research on Human Development

It is possible to find a place from which you can patiently and compassionately ride a wave of anger as it rises and falls inside you and simultaneously choose to live a valued life with your hands, feet, and mouth. This book will show you how to do that with patience and compassion for yourself and others. If you regularly practice what it teaches, you will find yourself having more LIFE in your life.
—Hank Robb, Ph.D., ABPP, past president of the American Board of Counseling Psychology

Looking for another way to help your clients with their anger? ACT on Life Not on Your Anger is the book for you. This book adds significantly to the therapist's options for helping clients cease battling their anger and the other vulnerable feelings it covers and instead come to terms with them as part of themselves and their lives without judgment, evaluation, and self-condemnation. This book helps people understand and accept the function of their own anger, the vital difference between feelings and actions, and the responsibility we all share to live our lives to the fullest, with respect and dignity even when we don't "feel" like it. I have already begun using this work in my own practice!
—L. Kevin Hamberger, Ph.D., professor of family and community medicine at the Medical College of Wisconsin

As an educator committed to the value of nurturing emotional intelligence in the school environment, I recommend this book particularly to students as a trustworthy life raft for navigating the endless adolescent seas of painful thoughts and confusing feelings, including one of the most burdensome and prevalent experiences of adolescence: persistent anger. As readers progress through the book, they learn--and experience--that anger need not be a provocation to destructive actions with negative consequences that are some sometimes irreversible. ACT on Life Not on Anger'is an excellent and life-affirming resource with clear, accessible prose, engaging illustrations, and carefully explained practical exercises. This highly readable book deserves a place in every national curriculum program."
—Gary Powell, MA, head of German and 6th Form tutor at Trinity School in Croydon, England