How can you handle the narcissistic people in your life? They're frustrating (and maybe even intimidating) to deal with. You might need to interact with some of them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one-so sometimes it just doesn't work to simply ignore them. You need to find a way of communicating effectively with narcissists, getting your point across and meeting your needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments. Disarming the Narcissist offers a host of effective strategies for dealing effectively with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe.

Disarming the Narcissist will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist. Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior.

Reviews

"Anyone whose life predicament includes dealing with a narcissist will be well-advised to read Wendy Behary’s book and heed her advice. Disarming the Narcissist offers sound suggestions and keen insights—a breakthrough in one of psychology's toughest cases."
—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence

"...a valuable contribution to the growing self-help literature on the fascinating subject of narcissism. Behary takes the reader step-by-step through a process of understanding our personal triggers to the wounding inherent in narcissistic relations and then lays out a pathway for personal empowerment and change."
—Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW, author of Why Is It Always About You?

"This is a timely and important book. Wendy Behary offers a uniquely well-articulated exploration of the complexities of living with a narcissist, conveyed in a clear and elegant writing style. Disarming the Narcissist provides a treasure of insightful observations and strategies to help those working or living with a narcissist. Behary’s wisdom and warm humanity, together with her wide understanding and successful integration of interpersonal neurobiology and schema therapy, provides a fresh perspective that will help the reader make sense of relationships that often seem so confusing and give them tools to do something about it. I recommend this book heartily. "
—Marion F. Solomon, Ph.D., author of Narcissism and Intimacy and Lean on Me

"For the practicing clinician there is perhaps no other group of clients more difficult to work with or that generates more fear and feelings of inadequacy than narcissists. In Disarming the Narcissist , Behary has provided both the theoretical knowledge and practical advice necessary for clinicians to understand, empathize and, thus, help this challenging group of clients and their partners. Her “disarmingly” straightforward, accessible style and impressive clinical experience make this a very valuable book indeed."
—William M. Zangwill, Ph.D., director of EMDR Associates

"Behary is an exceptionally perceptive, compassionate, and creative clinician and an outstanding teacher. I have always found her immersed at the cutting edge of clinical science and practice. It has been both a privilege and an inspiration to watch her vision and clinical contributions evolve. These remarkable qualities are clearly evident in her new book, which I have no doubt will make a major contribution. It will bring anyone who deals with narcissism fully up to date with the latest our field has to offer, articulated in clear, poignant, and practical terms. "
—George Lockwood, Ph.D., director of the Schema Therapy Institute Midwest in Kalamazoo, MI

"Having been trained by Behary, I can say that she has a rare combination of nuanced empathy with wonderful mastery of therapeutic practice in general and schema therapy in specific. I look forward to her new book and to further supervision and training with her with great anticipation."
—John F. Gasiewski, Ph.D., LCSW, clinician with Mountainside Hospital Outpatient Behavior Health and psychotherapist in private practice in Montclair, NJ, and New York City.