New Harbinger Publications: What are interpersonal behaviors and what role do they play in promoting and prolonging depression?

Jeremy W. Pettit: Interpersonal behaviors are the things people say and do to communicate with others. These include intentional efforts to express something to others, like asking a friend if she would like to see a movie, and unintentional actions that may send messages to others, like how often you touch your face when speaking with a coworker. At times, we’re very aware of the things we do in social interactions; other interpersonal behaviors, however, slip below our radar because they’re inconspicuous or because we’ve done them so many times that they seem automatic.

Our book is based upon a large body of research indicating that certain types of interpersonal behaviors increase people's risk for becoming depressed and also make it more likely that they will remain depressed for longer periods of time. This happens because our moods and thought processes directly impact—and are directly impacted—by social relationships, so disruptions in mood (like depression) tend to create problems in relationships. By the same token, problems in relationships tend to create problems with our moods. If left unchecked, these reciprocal forces can spiral into chronic depression.

NHP: Do people who have difficulties in interpersonal relationships become depressed, or do depressed people have difficulties in interpersonal relationships—which comes first?

JWP: It appears to work both ways. People who have long-standing difficulties in interpersonal relationships are at risk for developing depression. For example, people who tend to be shy and lack sufficient social support are at risk for becoming depressed.

In other instances, though, people who have typically had satisfactory relationships experience a reduction in the quantity and quality of these relationships if they become depressed. Let's say, for example, that a man loses his job and subsequently experiences his first depression. A common feature of depression is social withdrawal, which reduces the quantity of his social interactions. The negative mood, hopeless outlook, and other symptoms of his depression are then concentrated on his few remaining social interactions. What tends to happen, unfortunately, is that the quality of these relations suffers. Significant others and friends grow increasingly frustrated with the depressed man’s “new” interpersonal behaviors—pessimistic speech, frequent requests for reassurances, that kind of thing—leaving him feeling rejected and even more isolated.

NHP: Does this mean that depressed people have bad social skills?

JWP: That’s probably an overgeneralization. People with depression—just like those without depression—display a range of skills in social interactions. Nevertheless, it is accurate to say that there are certain types of interpersonal behavior that frequently go hand-in-hand with depression—we target these in the book—and that depressed people often have very low confidence in their ability to communicate effectively with others.

The issue, in my estimation, is not so much whether social skills are “good” or “bad.” Rather, it is whether specific behaviors in social interactions produce the types of results that make people feel better or worse. If, for example, looking people directly in the eye and speaking clearly and confidently increases the probability that they will want to talk with you again, then those are behaviors that produce positive results and should be continued. If looking at the ground and speaking softly stifles conversations and leaves you feeling lonely, then those are behaviors that produce negative results and suggest that a change is needed.

NHP: In the book, you cite a study which indicates that depressed people “self-disclose” more than non-depressed people. What is “self-disclosure,” and how often is it a sign of depression?

JWP: Self-disclosure refers to revealing personal information about oneself that would not normally be known or discovered. There is nothing wrong with self-disclosure per se; in fact, it's essential to developing healthy relationships. Researchers have suggested that the problem comes when self-disclosure is non-reciprocal and focused on personal problems. By non-reciprocal, I mean self-disclosing even when others aren't asking for the information and aren't self-disclosing themselves.

Examples would include things like discussing personal medical problems or relationship problems with someone you don't know well (and when that someone hasn't asked for the details). Some research indicates that depressed people often disclose personal information about their feelings and experiences and do so at inappropriate times—that is, when others haven't asked. A potential outcome of this is that others pull back from and avoid future interactions with the depressed person.

NHP: What is “self-handicapping” and how does it relate to depression? What are some ways to break this habit?

JWP: Self-handicapping refers to placing obstacles in your path to success, and it appears to be done as a way to provide an out in case you don't succeed. For example, a student who is concerned that she isn't capable of performing well on a test may procrastinate and avoid studying. In the event that she performs poorly on the test, she has a more acceptable explanation for her failure ("It's not that I'm not smart; it's just because I didn't study"). In addition to producing actual handicaps, such as failing to study for a test, self-handicaps can also be claimed. That is, people give preemptive excuses for a potentially poor performance or sell themselves short. For instance, a man who is concerned that his presentation at work will not be viewed favorably may preface his presentation by saying that he didn't have time to prepare, he is suffering from a cold, or some other excuse when in fact he was well prepared and in good health.

Unfortunately, self-handicapping tends to rub other people the wrong way. Rather than not holding you accountable for a poor performance, people tend to view self-handicappers as simply making excuses. This increases social rejection and decreases the chance that they will ask for your involvement in the future. The social (and potentially material) losses that result from self-handicapping may promote and maintain depression.

The first step to stopping self-handicapping is to identify when it happens. After that, it requires that you open yourself up to potentially negative evaluations from others by performing without a handicap. As you repeatedly perform without handicapping yourself, the fear of negative evaluation will subside and others will likely begin to view you in a more favorable light.

NHP: To whom would you recommend your book? Would it be effective for someone with severe depression?

JWP: I recommend it to anyone who frequently experiences depressed mood. The same types of interpersonal behaviors are likely at work among people with mild, moderate, and severe depression; the differences may lie simply in the degree to which the behaviors occur. Among individuals with severe depression, this book may be most useful as an adjunct to professional help, such as antidepressant medications or therapy.

I also recommend the book to friends and family members of people with depression. This book will be useful for them as they develop a greater understanding of how depressed people behave in interpersonal relationships, and will likely provide insights into how they can empathize with and assist their depressed loved one.