We Talk with Susan Swartz About Finding Our Juice

New Harbinger Publications: What are some common misconceptions about middle-aged women?

Susan Swartz: That they are timid, un-hip, stodgy, not much interested in sex, out of shape and wish they were still thirty-five.

NHP: At what point in your life did you realize that you were actually getting better with age?

SS: When I moved to Germany with my husband I was forty-nine and my world literally became so much bigger. I decided to try everything I could, meet new friends, be bold. I studied German even thought I was lousy at it, took off on the train alone, made myself meet new people and invite them for coffee. And all the while I was perimenopausal.

NHP: Who are your role models? Are there any ripe tomatoes that inspired you or your book?

SS: I was inspired by just about every woman I wrote about which is why I wanted them in the book: the woman who started running marathons in her fifties after not being much of an athlete; the woman who moved to Mexico and opened a B and B; the women with breast cancer who get through it with a sense of humor. There is no shortage of role models. I’m thinking about the woman I wrote about on my blog who worried she was too old to lead a desert retreat and whose friend said “you’re too old NOT to.”

NHP: What do you think has sparked this “longevity revolution?” Is our culture changing the way juicy tomatoes are perceived?

SS: First off, Americans are living longer, and we are sticking those extra years in the middle. Baby Boomers are passionate about staying visible, strong, influential, and significant, and we’ve got the numbers. There are more Baby Boomer women than the entire population of California.

NHP: On your Web site your readers are invited to nominate people (celebrities, members of the media, or private citizens) for Splat! What are Splat! Are they awards? Is there anyone you would nominate?

SS: Some people just don’t get it. They get caught up in old, dumb, ageist stereotypes. I figure we can either ignore them for the bores they are, or we can give them the Splat! Award. I think I’d nominate a radio station I heard about that screens their call-in listeners to make sure “no one sounds too old.” Personally, I’m not sure how “old” sounds.

NHP: If you could, how would you change the way juicy tomatoes are portrayed in the media?

SS: If I had my way, the media wouldn’t lump all women over fifty or sixty or seventy into certain type of person. And they would show more women with real faces in advertising and film. Not airbrushed. Not Botoxed. So we would get used to seeing real faces and start to see their beauty. They would show more middle aged women and older who are bright, strong, curious and, yes, sexy.

NHP: In your experience, are women who have lived fuller lives more likely to feel juicier in their fifties and sixties than those who feel that they have many missed opportunities in the past? Is it easier to look ahead when you are not dwelling on the past?

SS: Of course, the more good memories you have, the more encouragement you’ve had to be a full, active, influential woman in your younger years, the juicier you will stay. You know to be hopeful. You know how to honor your wisdom.

NHP: In your book you mention the issue of cosmetic surgery. What is your personal stance on that?

SS: The only thing I’ve done so far is whiten my teeth and load up on moisturizer. I rely on yoga to keep my body as fit and strong as possible. That’s likely as far as I would go.

NHP: If you could speak to your twenty-five year-old self, what would you tell her she could look forward to about turning fifty and beyond?

SS: Wear sunscreen. Become fluent in another language. Don’t be timid. Buy real estate early. If you’re lucky, there’s a lot more time to do a lot more things.

NHP: What role do men play in “discovering your juice?” Do their opinions matter as much to juicy tomatoes as they do to their younger counterparts?

SS: It always helps to have a loving partner who applauds you, accepts you, makes you laugh and likes to roll around. That person’s opinion matters. The opinions of jerks matter more when you’re young.

NHP: In your book you quote Martha Burk as saying "[When you get older] you care less about appearances and more about getting things done or making change." What would your change about our society?

SS: That we would care less about what we drive, how we dress, and whether our house has as many gadgets as the neighbor’s and live more like we belong to the rest of the world.