New Harbinger Publications: Tell us what your life was like before New Year’s Eve of 1997.

Katie Hutchison: My life revolved around caring for our four-year-old twins. I was working part-time as a business counselor and very involved in our community. My husband Bob and I enjoyed living in a small town in the mountains.
 
NHP: How did you and the police manage to piece together what happened that night at the house party? How long did it take the authorities to make an arrest in the case?

KH: The initial interviews which the police conducted were problematic. The evidence was contradictory and badly clouded by the level of alcohol consumed by many of the partygoers. While the police quickly narrowed the field of suspects, it took a lengthy undercover operation to unearth the truth from the young man ultimately found responsible for Bob’s death. His arrest took place four and one-half years after the murder.
  
NHP: Was the host of the party, your friends’ son, ever a suspect in Bob’s murder?

KH: Jamie Cudmore, the party’s host, was quickly ruled out as a suspect. He was pulled over at the same time the murder was taking place by the police and given a driving suspension for being under the influence. He went on foot to another party for the rest of the evening. 
 
NHP: How did you (or do you) feel about the sentences McMillan and Ryan Aldridge were given? Do you feel that they got off easily for what they did to your family?  

KH: For me, it is not the length of the sentence that matters; rather what the offender does with the time. Ryan MacMillan was given a three year conditional discharge for the charge of assault. However, an important condition of that sentence was his participation in a victim-offender reconciliation process. That was perhaps more meaningful in terms of effecting real change in his behavior than a cursory term of incarceration. Ryan Aldridge’s five-year sentence, of which he served three years, was necessary. It was critical that Ryan deal with substance-use issues and his violent tendencies. His incarceration provided that opportunity in a focused environment. That, combined with the difficult reconciliation work we did together, was anything but “getting off easily.”

NHP: At what point did you decide that you wanted to meet with Ryan Aldridge? What was his reaction to meeting you? What is your relationship with him now?

KH: I wanted to meet Ryan Aldridge as soon as I new the arrest was imminent. While it was gut-wrenchingly difficult for both of us, he was clearly moved by the opportunity to meet face-to-face, and I believed his remorse was genuine. We now have a truly unique relationship. We care for one another’s well-being and are grateful for the chance to work together with youth to empower them to make good choices with respect to social responsibility.

NHP: Can you say a little bit about the concept of “restorative justice?”

KH: The UN definition of restorative process means any process in which the victim and the offender, and, where appropriate, any other individuals or community members affected by a crime participate together actively in the resolution of matters arising from the crime, generally with the help of a facilitator. It is a process that is sometimes criticized for being soft or a cop out. My experience was anything but those things. Coming face-to-face with the person who has caused you harm is hard work. But it is the very work which I believe moves us closer to building safe community—and for me, that is what defines real justice.

NHP: You remarried less than a year after Bob’s death. What was the reaction of your family and friends to this?

KH: Family and friends were worried that I was making a hurried decision to remarry. I kept my focus on myself and my children and made a choice that best met our needs. I had been very good at being married, and I loved Bob. I think the security of what we shared made it easy to find the courage to step forward and create a new relationship in my marriage to Michael. Through the process of falling in love with Michael and building a life with him, I came to understand that I could still miss Bob and grieve the way he was taken from us. There seems to be no end to the grief, only the realization that a wonderful life still exists and can take place alongside it.

NHP: At what point did you decide that you wanted to share Bob’s story with students?

KH: As soon as the arrest and sentencing took place, I knew there was a story that needed telling. There was much to say about relationship, group dynamics, peer pressure, choices, and moving forward in the face of crisis; the story had to be told. From the first time I shared the “Story of Bob,” I knew it would be life-changing for the people who heard it.

NHP: How have young people responded to your presentation? Have you ever been surprise by something that they’ve said or asked?  

KH: Young people are moved in many directions by the presentation. They seem able to put themselves in the roles of many of the key characters and express their disbelief, grief, and compassion. I am always moved by the respectful way in which they receive Ryan when he works with me. The questions are the best part of the work—I have been taken to some hard places by their candid need for information. Every tough question deepens my own healing and leaves me in awe of the capacity of young people to learn from personal stories.

NHP: What is your life like today?

KH: I am blessed with a loving husband who believes in the work I do and makes it possible for me to take my message far from home. Our children astound me with their resiliency, their forgiving hearts, and their genuine desire to live brave and daring lives. Bob will always have a place in our hearts—and he lives on in the legacy of learning and enlightenment we have created in his memory.