For Those Facing the Holidays Without Their Spouse, This Season Isn’t Full of Cheer

What happens when the holidays—the time to cherish friends and family—roll around and, for the first time since your wedding, you’re spending them without your spouse?

For those who’ve suffered the unexpected loss of a partner, the holidays can be a painful reminder of how their lives have suddenly gone off course. Deborah Levinson, the author of Surviving the Death of Your Spouse, knows how this feels both because she’s a therapist who specializes in treating grieving spouses and because she lost her husband prematurely. Her groundbreaking research on widows forms the basis of her comprehensive plan to cope with the loss of a spouse and go on to create a rich life. Here’s just some of what she has to say:

• The grieving process that those who lose a spouse go through is different from those facing the loss of other loved ones.
  
• After the September 11 th tragedy, loss of a spouse at a young age became a national problem and part of our group consciousness.
  
• With increase life expectancy and better long-term health, women who lose a husband at fifty or sixty can still expect to have twenty or more productive years.
  
• The mundane reminders that your everyday life has radically changed can trigger painful emotions. Noticing that the food in fridge doesn’t disappear as fast, for example, can be a pointed reminder that your spouse is gone.
  
• Even if your marriage was not ideal, you likely relied on your spouse as an anchor, and the loss of that anchor is no less devastating than it would be for someone with a good marriage.
  
  For more information email Earlita Chenault or call 510-652-0215, x142.