The Unfindable Inquiry
One Simple Tool to Overcome Feelings of Unworthiness and Find Inner Peace
Published by: New Harbinger Publications
This book presents the Unfindable Inquiry, the central tool of the Living Inquiries approach to non-dual self-inquiry—a process author Scott Kiloby developed to help you overcome your false sense of separation and the all-too-common, deep-seated belief that you’re not good enough. With this powerful blend of psychology and spirituality, you’ll come to understand that the separate, deficient self cannot be found. What you’ll find instead is a profound sense of peace.
Many of us carry an ingrained belief that we’re somehow inadequate and that we’re separate and alone, which can lead to a general dissatisfaction with life, conflicts with others, and an estrangement from ourselves that causes us to look outward for what we feel is lacking. When we look outside rather than looking within, it’s easy to find ways to confirm our false beliefs about ourselves. With the Living Inquiries, you’ll be able to see your mistaken belief in the “core deficient self” and realize the essential oneness that exists in the here and now.
Starting with the Boomerang Inquiry and the Panorama Inquiry, two self-inquisitive processes of the Living Inquiries, you’ll learn to identify and explore the stories you tell yourself that underlie the challenges and disharmony you experience. Then, once you’ve cracked the foundation of the false deficient self, you’ll use the Unfindable Inquiry and one simple question—Is that you?—to reveal that you are not who or what you’ve taken yourself to be.
No matter what it is you struggle with—anxiety, depression, relationships, trauma, addiction—it’s likely that painful self-judgments, and the belief that you’re separate from the world around you, are at the root of your suffering. With The Unfindable Inquiry, you’ll discover how to finally break free from your false sense of self and separation, and experience a more fulfilling life.
“Scott Kiloby’s Living Inquiry practices, particularly the Unfindable Inquiry and the others he teaches in this book, can help you and I to see that the more we believe our thoughts about ourselves, others, and life to be reality, the more unhappy and lost we become. Through his simple and elegant technique of Living Inquiry, Scott helps us to find the natural rest and peace of our true nature in the simplicity of this present moment. He shows us how to navigate the often confusing relative world of emotions, relationships, roles, and human functions, with the wisdom and peace of the absolute perspective. This book is a masterpiece of skillful means for living everyday, ordinary, human life with wisdom and grace. I highly recommend it.”
—Francis Bennett, author of I Am That I Am
“‘It’s just a movie!’ This statement summarizes a major theme Scott Kiloby interweaves throughout his book, The Unfindable Inquiry. He describes the movies that are too often playing inside our mind... As Kiloby rightly points out, most people never stop to inquire, ‘Who is this “me” that is watching and identifying with these movies?’ When we do inquire, as Kiloby expertly guides us to, we can come upon the astounding conclusion that this ‘me’ is actually a timeless presence that is spacious, perfect, and whole—beyond border, boundary, and lack. ...
“Kiloby shows us simple and elegantly designed exercises that liberate us from our core wounds, which show daily on our internal screens as movies of self-deficiency and blame, victimhood, and other-blaming. He enables us to recognize and ‘rest’ as the spacious, compassionate presence that we truly are and have always been, which we’ve simply forgotten but can now remember through his expert guidance. ...
“Kiloby provides us with the means that can liberate us, truly, into a lifetime of freedom, joy, well-being, and interconnection—within ourselves, with others, and with the world around us.”
—Richard Miller, PhD, clinical psychologist, spiritual teacher, and author of iRest Meditation and The iRest Program for Healing PTSD
“This book, and this work, changed my life. I was so unhappy with who I was, constantly seeking for something better, for the bliss of enlightenment to take me away from myself, because being me was so painful. The Unfindable Inquiry helped free me from my longing to be something other than what I am. This book offers a profound, life-changing experience. It’s not enough to read it and try to understand it. It must become a regular practice. It must be lived to reap the full benefits. If it’s real freedom you’re after, this book and the tools it offers are an indispensable guide.”
—Julianne Eanniello, assistant director of The Kiloby Center for Recovery, Inc.
“Scott Kiloby’s Living Inquiries and Natural Rest are powerful tools that have changed my life. The basic method is simple and easy to understand. We hold a lens up to our experience and inquire into thoughts and feelings that cause suffering. Scott gives clear examples of how to free ourselves from identification and limiting core beliefs in The Unfindable Inquiry. He then takes the basic inquiry and shows us practical ways to transform our daily lives through going deeply into topics like bullying, perfectionism, abandonment, seeking, anxiety, and control. There is value here for us all.”
—Lynn Fraser, senior facilitator and trainer of The Living Inquiries, http://nondualinquiry.com; and meditation and yoga teacher certified in the Himalayan tradition, www.stillpointyoga.ca
“Scott has a gift for expressing the deepest and most profound concepts in simple and easily understood language. He is able to do this without losing any of the depth and nuance of what is being addressed. I have always found Scott’s writings inspirational, and this book is no exception. In The Unfindable Inquiry, he offers practical and effective counsel that provides the reader the opportunity to meet each moment as it appears, and therefore inquire directly into the cause of their suffering. This has the potential to transform our everyday experience, allowing us to live more authentically and joyously. I enthusiastically recommend this book, and in fact, all of Scott’s writings.”
—Paul Galewitz, certified facilitator of The Living Inquiries, www.authenticinquiry.net
“I recommend Scott’s book The Unfindable Inquiry to many clients, and use it for all my Living Inquiry courses. Scott writes for people of all backgrounds and ideologies, in such a way that it is easy to read, easy to digest, and easy to put into action. His invitation to look and journey inward is rich and profound. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to get to know themselves and their experiences.”
—Lisa Meuser, senior facilitator and trainer of The Living Inquiries, www.integrativehealingnow.com
“Inquiry has been practiced for centuries in a variety of contemplative traditions. Generally, such practices were done by advanced yogis and monks, reserved for the few. The Living Inquiries helps make this form of practice simple and accessible for all of us, here and now. Any belief, perceived problem, or source of suffering can be worked with. The Living Inquiries and the Unfindable Inquiry, in particular, have been a real blessing for me, and I am extremely grateful to Scott for having had the chance to learn and practice them. I highly recommend them to anyone who would want to go deeper and experience more freedom.”
—Greg Ascue, senior facilitator and trainer of The Living Inquiries, www.restingawareness.com
“The Unfindable Inquiry is a brilliant and life-transforming guidebook to understanding how life works—how we try to mold it to fit our needs and desires, and suffer as we fight against reality. Life has its own path and unfolds in its mysterious ways. After years of meditation to learn to quiet my mind’s disturbing thoughts and beliefs, I was still perplexed in everyday life, especially in relationships. Once I found Scott Kiloby’s teachings and began inquiring with curiosity into my thoughts and beliefs, the confusion began melting away. Now, in my seventies, I am reseeing my life with a wiser perspective, as I have come to understand what Scott describes as ‘the middle way’—somewhere between the human self that can feel separate and alone, and the self that is part of the larger whole and can appear as empty. The Unfindable Inquiry facilitates an unwinding or untangling of confusion that brings relief, resolution, and peace. I am immensely grateful for the opportunity to work with my own beliefs, and for my certification as a facilitator of the inquiry process, which allows me to help others.”
—Judith Sumitra Burton, certified facilitator of The Living Inquiries, www.awakeningfreedom.org
“This book is an easy-to-read, practical guide on how to use the Unfindable Inquiry in your daily life. A myriad of problematic areas (e.g., conflict, perfectionism, bullying, helping, control, seeking), all common to our human lives, are described from a revolutionary angle. Each problematic area comes with a clarifying dialogue, between the facilitator (Scott) and a client, that helped me understand the flow and the structure of the Unfindable Inquiry. Because of the repetitive character, I also got the hang of doing self-inquiry by reading them. ...
“I can honestly say that the Unfindable Inquiry has changed my life: patterns (e.g., the need to please) are falling away; resistance is almost gone. There’s a basic trust now that all that happens can be embraced, and that it is healing to do so. I can rest, letting myself be guided by life. From this place, I’m able to meet others and myself, just the way we are, and feel compassion for all of us, including myself.”
—Hanneke Geraeds-de Vries, facilitator, www.stress2balance.nl