Conforming to gender stereotypes is a choice, not a requirement—you decide. This timely workbook provides a road map to help you discover what kind of man you want to be.
As a teen, you may be under intense pressure to conform to society’s stereotypes of masculinity—often referred to as the “guy code.” Limiting and unhealthy gender stereotypes and social practices are pervasive, even across cultures, and research shows that strict adherence to the rules of the code—or extreme forms of “traditional” masculinity, such as suppressing your feelings, acting tough and in control, and objectifying girls and women—can lead to emotional issues, aggression, low self-esteem, more risk taking, misogyny and homophobia, and even negative health outcomes, like depression and anxiety. So, how do you navigate these mixed messages?
This is the workbook you need. You’ll find fun and engaging activities that will empower you to define what being a guy means to you—whatever that is. You’ll learn all about how our world views masculinity—the good, the bad, and the toxic. You’ll find tips and tools to help you face difficult thoughts and emotions, rather than trying to avoid them, and ask for help when you need it.
Most importantly, you’ll discover that there’s no “right” way to be a guy. There’s just what’s right for you.
Christopher S. Reigeluth, PhD, is assistant professor in the division of clinical psychology at Oregon Health & Science University, and past fellow at the Yale Child Study Center. He is a child and adolescent psychologist who is passionate about the well-being of boys and men and greater gender awareness for all people. Chris loves the outdoors, and lives in Portland, Oregon with his wife, Ashley, and their children, Finn and Fern.
Foreword writer Michael G. Thompson, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, author, and school consultant. He is author or coauthor of ten books, including the New York Times bestseller, Raising Cain.
“The Masculinity Workbook for Teens is the book adolescent boys and those of us who work with them have desperately wanted. Not because it has all the answers, but because it doesn’t. It doesn’t replace the ‘guy code’ with a set of more progressive rules. With respect and guidance, it empowers boys to explore and create their own guidelines for being a man. A magnificent achievement.” —Stephen Tosh, CEO of the Boys’ Club of New York, career youth worker, father of a son, and survivor of his own adolescence
“The Masculinity Workbook for Teens is an excellent resource for parents, caregivers, mentors, coaches, and educators to share with the boys in their lives. This practical guide empowers boys to navigate the ‘guy code,’ a set of unspoken rules they are pressured to follow to prove they are ‘man enough.’ Reigeluth has created an incredibly useful workbook for boys to do the inner work to uncover their whole humanity and authentic selves.” —Jennifer Siebel Newsom, filmmaker, and founder of The Representation Project
~Jennifer Siebel Newsom
“Young men long for us to acknowledge the realities of their lives; not to blame or shame them, nor condescend or lecture. What Christopher Reigeluth accomplishes so thoughtfully is to make this urgent conversation broadly accessible. By inviting boys to reflect on the air they breathe, he offers an invaluable guide to ‘awakened masculinity.’ I heartily recommend this workbook to all who care about boys.” —Michael C. Reichert, PhD, author of How to Raise a Boy, and director of the Center for the Study of Boys’ and Girls’ Lives at the University of Pennsylvania
~Michael C. Reichert, PhD
“How do you talk to a boy about masculinity? About what it means to be a man? You can give your son this book, or you can use the personal stories, quotes, and exercises provided by Christopher Reigeluth to shape the conversations you’ll have with your son over the next few years.” —Andrew P. Smiler, PhD, therapist, and author of the award-winning Dating and Sex
~Andrew P. Smiler, PhD
“Teenage males probably would not ask for this book, but secretly I bet they all want this: an actual guide for being a man that goes beyond standard scripts and norms for how men are supposed to be. What makes this book wonderful is that it is more of a DIY guide to being the healthy and complete man that you are and want to be. All the young men in my life are getting copies.” —Matt Englar-Carlson, PhD, professor of counseling at California State University, Fullerton; and director of the Center for Boys and Men
~Matt Englar-Carlson, PhD
“The Masculinity Workbook for Teens is as important as it is timely. Timely because it identifies an underlying pathway to addressing the pain and confusion boys and men are feeling and perpetuating across America. Important because the workbook empowers and equips each reader to become part of the solution through the development and modeling of healthy masculinities.” —Joe Ehrmann, author, activist, and president of the InSideOut Initiative—a national movement to reclaim the social-emotional and character development sports can and should provide for every participant
“This is the book that all people who care about boys have wanted for a very long time. It speaks to boys and not at them, and engages their natural intelligence and curiosity, including their ability to think critically and emotionally about their own experiences. The ‘going deeper’ sections are brilliantly constructed to get at what boys really think and feel, and not simply what they think they ‘should’ believe. The author even takes an intersectional approach in his discussion of identities, making it both a critically important book and a timely one. Buy it and give it to any boy or young man you know! You will change their lives.” —Niobe Way, EdD, author of Deep Secrets—the inspiration for the Grand Prix-winning movie, Close, at the Cannes Film festival
~Niobe Way, EdD
“Boys need opportunities to explore who they want to be, not a society that imposes stereotypes dictating who boys should become. In this novel workbook for boys themselves, psychologist Chris Reigeluth offers a collection of distinct activities to help boys examine how the ‘guy code’ impairs their ability to choose who they want to become. School professionals and other concerned adults will find this workbook indispensable toward supporting boys’ self-discovery.” —Joseph Derrick Nelson, PhD, associate professor of educational studies at Swarthmore College, and senior research fellow with the Center for the Study of Boys’ and Girls’ Lives at the University of Pennsylvania