By Erlanger “Earl” Turner, PhD
Many therapists choose to work with teens, but some fail to realize that shifting from adult clients to teens is more than just changing the context to be developmentally appropriate. In my years doing therapy with teens, I occasionally get a new client that reports not having the best experience. That’s not unusual given that it can take time to find the best fit or form a good relationship. Although in some cases, the teen’s parent(s) may feel that the therapist is not connecting with their teen, so therapy seems less effective. Here are three quick ways to connect with teen clients:
Honesty is the best policy
The majority of teens typically don’t choose to go to therapy. This can lead them to be hesitant to engage in the session. To improve connection, it is important to have open and honest conversations about a teen client’s desire to attend therapy. To overcome this obstacle, I try to express my understanding of their situation and validate their point of view. For example, “Yes, therapy may suck, but it can help.” It’s okay to let teens know that therapy can be hard at times.
Allow teens to control the session
Another important way to connect with teen clients is to give them the opportunity to decide how to use the session time. Generally, a teen’s parent(s) will have a specific treatment goal that may or may not align with the teen’s opinion. The best way that I’ve found to connect with teens and keep them engaged is to have them identify what they want to talk about each session. This can help to build rapport, and then you can begin to do the work. The goal of the parent(s) may need to be secondary.
Leverage activities
Teens may not want to come to your office and “sit on the couch” to talk about their feelings. In today’s world of telehealth, sitting at a screen for therapy can be even more challenging. It can help to use worksheets, games, or online activities to help teen clients engage with you and process their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Using activities can also reduce some of the anxiety or frustration that teens may feel about therapy.
Erlanger “Earl” Turner, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, and associate professor of psychology at Pepperdine University in Los Angeles, CA. As a nationally and internationally recognized expert in mental health, he has been featured on television, radio, and in print media outlets, including CNN, USA Today, The New York Times, Essence, NPR, Los Angeles Times, and the Dr. Phil Show. He is former president of the Society for Child and Family Policy and Practice, and has served as a consultant for Sesame Street, Instagram, and other organizations on racial justice initiatives. Turner is also founder of Therapy for Black Kids whose mission is to help promote resilience and healthy emotional development among Black youth. You can find out more about Turner at www.drerlangerturner.com.