About the Book
"Your guide to transcendent sex.”
—Ian Kerner, author of the New York Times bestseller, She Comes First
In this playful and sexually savvy guide, “Dr. Cheryl” Fraser presents enlivening mindfulness exercises, techniques from couples and sex therapy, and the wisdom of Buddhist teachings to help you spark the passion and thrill you’ve been seeking in your relationship. With this book, couples can break free from the monotony of familiar routines and bring a little nirvana back to the bedroom for a more exciting, loving, and fulfilling connection.
The beginning of a relationship is always thrilling—butterflies in the stomach; that sense that someone really gets you; that “love drunk,” “walking on air” feeling. But as time goes by, and the tedium of daily life intervenes, you may find yourself too busy, tired, or just unmotivated to devote quality time and attention to the connection you crave. So, how do you uncover the passion and thrill you’re longing for, and how can you make it last?
Inside Buddha’s Bedroom, you’ll discover how the essential Buddhist teachings of mindfulness and awakening can be applied to your love life—showing that true passion absolutely is sustainable, if you’re willing to shift your perspective. By exploring your deepest desires and expectations, and also learning to see your partner as they really are, without the need for them to change, you’ll be able to create a deep and mindfully loving connection for a fabulous relationship. And with these spiritually scintillating tips and techniques, you’ll have the keys to igniting and sustaining all the thrill, intimacy, and sensuality you seek.
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“True mastery is rare and precious—and Cheryl Fraser is truly a master of her subject. Written with a wonderful combination of simplicity and thoroughness, heart and intellect, and profundity and practicality, this is a phenomenal book on intimate sensuality, and equally excellent about communication skills and mindful awareness. Wow—a wonderful book.”
—Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Buddha’s Brain
“Sacred sex. Prolonged pleasure. Conscious climax. It’s all part of using your sexual bliss energy to become an awakened lover, and Cheryl Fraser—a renowned Buddhist psychologist—is your guide to transcendent sex.”
—Ian Kerner, sex therapist, and author of the New York Times bestseller, She Comes First
“Fraser asks pointedly, ‘Why add the wisdom teachings of Buddhism to a book about passion? Quite simply, because they work.’ Buddha’s Bedroom folds the wisdom of Buddha Dharma into the practicalities of love and sex to form a beautiful, thoughtful, and compassionate window into how ‘old sex’ can become new again. She shares her meditation exercises that she has used with countless couples in Buddha’s Bedroom, and teaches the reader how to awaken the passion that has been sleeping inside them.
This book is for anyone in a love relationship who wants to fall in love again (with the same person), and is willing to examine within themselves to discover that they possess the key to happiness. Fraser weaves in real stories from the couples who have walked the path with her, along with her own candid (and entertaining) experiences to illustrate to the reader how to bring Buddha back into the bedroom. I will recommend this book to my own clients (and friends!) and suggest that they clip each of the ‘Love Bytes’ and ‘Buddha Bytes’ scattered throughout the book!”
—Lori A. Brotto, PhD, registered psychologist, Canada research chair in women’s sexual health, professor at the University of British Columbia, and author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness
“Sex and spirituality have been awkward bedfellows for as long as anyone can remember, and now we live in an era with plenty of chaos, confusion, misunderstanding, and contention about sexual roles and sexual acts. Here comes Cheryl Fraser to offer clarity, encouragement, and some very sound advice about how to ignite passion while remaining aware. She lets us know how we can dance and share with another—lovingly—and with the kind of mindfulness that doesn’t drape a big, wet blanket over the proceedings.”
—Barry Boyce, editor-in-chief of Mindful magazine
“Cheryl Fraser has done a remarkable job of combining expertise as a sex therapist and relationship counselor with decades of Buddhist practice. Buddha’s Bedroom guides readers to develop and sustain strong, healthy relationships, including passion and intimacy in the bedroom, through the power of mindfulness and applications of Buddha’s teachings. At the same time, she performs an invaluable service to rapidly growing numbers of lay people embracing meditation and Buddhism as the path to a better life.
Buddhist teachings, traditionally the province of celibate monastics, can be confusing for lay practitioners when it comes to relationships, sensuality, and sexuality. Freedom from desire as a Buddhist goal seems inconsistent with sexuality in particular. However, Fraser does a beautiful job of demonstrating how the transient lust that relationships begin with can be transformed into an expression of love, compassion, and a manifestation of the Seven Factors of Awakening.”
—Culadasa (John Yates, PhD), spiritual director and chair of Dharma Treasure Buddhist Sangha, and author of The Mind Illuminated and Brain Science for Greater Mindfulness
“Fraser brings a fresh, enlightening voice to relationship literature. She applies a spectrum of Buddhist principles and practices to the inevitable suffering that arises in the quest for enduring love. Whether schooled in Buddhism or newly discovering its wisdom, readers will find abundant, readily accessible tools for handling disappointments and conflict, and overcoming negative reactivity. Buddha’s Bedroom is inspiration and guide for a lifelong journey of mindfully engaged, joyful, passionate intimacy.”
—Miranda Shaw, PhD, associate professor of religious studies at the University of Richmond, and author of Passionate Enlightenment and Buddhist Goddesses of India
“Cheryl Fraser puts power back into her readers’ hands—and minds—by helping them realize that they are in control of their own happiness, reawakening passion and enriching their sex lives in a loving, mindful manner along with some changes in behavior. I’m looking forward to sharing her words of wisdom, couples skills, and mindfulness techniques with my clients so that they too can bring Buddha into their bedrooms.”
—Sara Dimerman (aka helpmesara), psychologist, and author of several books, including Why Married Couples Don't have Sex
“Cheryl Fraser, in her beautifully written and engaging book, Buddha’s Bedroom, reminded me how the power of presence and intention can vitalize and sustain a romantic relationship. As well as being simply fun to read, I found the book to be useful in many ways. From building curiosity in the bedroom to falling in love with your partner over and over again to practicing the skills of lovemaking, Fraser has created a meaningful book that, whether single or partnered, all can relish. Awareness to the joy of love and sex is a wonderful way to live inside of relationship. My gratitude for a fantastic book!”
—Robyn D. Walser, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist, coauthor of The Mindful Couple, and author of The Heart of ACT
“If you’re looking for a guide to lasting connection, passion, and ultimately more love in your life—inside and outside the bedroom—you’ll want to pick up this book. Cheryl not only lays out the path to greater sexual intimacy and happiness, but also practical skills that we can all do to enhance our lives and ultimately bring more love into the world.”
—Elisha Goldstein, PhD, creator of A Course in Mindful Living
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