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Coming Back Together
A Guide to Successful Reintegration After Your Partner Returns from Military Deployment
Average: 4.1 (8 votes)
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When a partner or spouse returns from war, it is a time of joy; but it is also a time of transition, challenges, and uncertainty. The truth is that the process of reintegration can last for years, and it can be a particularly difficult time for both returning heroes and their families.

If your partner has recently returned from war, or if they will be returning soon, you should be prepared for the unique challenges that lay ahead. Your loved one may suffer from psychological and physical wounds, experience “battlemind,” a condition that leaves them constantly anxious and on-edge, and they may even have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If they are uncommunicative, you may feel like you are living with a stranger, and struggle to recreate the bond of intimacy you once shared.

In Coming Back Together, clinical psychologist Steven L. Sayers offers real tools to help you reestablish family routines and build a stronger sense of intimacy with your partner after a military deployment, even if they are resistant to help. The challenges of reintegration can come as a surprise, but you can arm yourself with the skills needed to face this difficult time and help your partner build the resilience needed to heal. This book will be your guide.

Publisher Reviews
  • “Written by a nationally recognized expert in the VA system in supporting veteran families, Coming Back Together is an empowering, helpful resource for partners of deployed service members and veterans. It teaches cognitive-behavioral skills to help partners cope with a range of issues upon a veteran's homecoming, including intimacy, parenting, communication, and seeking professional assistance. Filled with poignant quotes from family members and practical exercises to spark reflection, this resource is certain to bring practical advice and comfort to many families.”
    -Michelle D. Sherman, PhD, clinical professor at the University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center and coauthor of Finding My Way: A Teen's Guide to Living with a Parent Who Has Experienced Trauma and My Story: Blogs by Four Military Teens
  • “This book is packed with practical wisdom for resuming your lives together after being apart due to military service. With his deep understanding of the issues families face, Sayers explains specific steps for success in reintegration. You can do this, and he will show you how.”
    -Scott M. Stanley, PhD, research professor at the University of Denver and coauthor of Fighting for Your Marriage
  • Coming Back Together provides expert guidance to couples following deployment. Abundant with clinical wisdom and sensitively written, this new resource helps couples navigate the labyrinth of confusing feelings and unexpected obstacles to restoring laughter and intimacy, and the challenges of creating a new family life that reflects the changes and growth in both partners.

    [This book] is a veritable treasure trove of fundamental knowledge essential to restoring or creating a healthy and joyful relationship after the service member returns from deployment. This book promotes understanding and offers step-by-step practical advice that is particularly useful to partners of deployed service members, but that can also be used by both partners collaboratively. It is an essential resource to anyone providing services to military or veteran couples and families.”
    -Douglas K. Snyder, PhD, professor of psychology at Texas A&M University
  • "With more than two decades of experience working with families and veterans, Sayers, a psychology professor at the University of Pennsylvania's Perelman School of Medicine, is well qualified to give advice to spouses and partners of military service members and to veterans on how to avoid the many relationship pitfalls that typically occur after someone comes home from a war zone or any other risky overseas assignment. In this self-help book, he provides clear and useful advice filled with examples of couples who coped and others who didn't. ... All of the advice is well-thought-out and tailored for the unique and complex issues that arise when a loved one returns home from war to peace."
    -Publishers Weekly

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