A normal problem-solving mode of mind draws clients into the idea that where they are isn’t desirable and they need to be somewhere else. Jobs need to be changed, relationships fixed. More often than not, therapists go along, but this view directs attention toward getting, not the dynamics of doing.
We’ve all done it. We behave in a way that feels painful, or is destructive, or think we shouldn’t, and we resolve to behave differently in the future. We believe that the way to change behavior A is to take up behavior B. What we discover is that, however fervently we wish to change our behavior, it’s not that easy. We can’t just drop behavior A just because we’ve decided to for whatever reason.