By Jennifer Shannon, LMFT
One of the most common fears socially anxious clients have is of making mistakes. Social perfectionists do not allow themselves to make the sort of common human errors the rest of us do, and this both causes and maintains their anxiety. By trying to live up to a perfect standard in social situations, these clients have unrealistic expectations of themselves.
The social perfectionist has a tough time asking questions because he is afraid he may sound stupid. Exposures designed to test whether he really does sound stupid often fail because no matter what he says, or what others tell him, it sounds stupid to him. It is often more effective to expose this client to his core fears. I call this exposure “asking stupid questions.”