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thoughts

By Ora North, author of I Don't Want to be an Empath Anymore

I sat across from him at the restaurant. His eyes were kind, and he had a clever smile that hinted at both mischief and innocence; a rarity in the dating world. I’d met him before and had chatted with him a bit. On this particular day, though, he said something that hit me strangely.

“More than anything, I just want to make you happy,” he said.

By Michelle Frank, PsyD, coauthor of A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD

One of the first lines in our new book, A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD, makes a bold claim: “Instead of trying to fix yourself, you can learn to be yourself.” I’ve noticed an interesting pattern in how people respond to this idea.

By Julie Kraft, MA, LMFT

“I can’t help it,” Christine says. “When he makes that face at me, I just start yelling.” Her husband, Bob, is just as sure that when he hears “that tone,” it is his cue to storm out of the house.

Sabrina tells me, “I can’t stop eating. As soon as the kids are in bed, it’s just on.”

Jack comes in for “anger issues.” His girlfriend is terrified of the way he responds to other drivers. “If you cut me off,” he says, “you’re not gonna get away with it.”

By Rebekah Younger, MFA, author of author of Be, Awake, Create

Create: to bring something into existence

By Judith Belmont, MS, LPC

One of the cornerstones of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is to help clients distance themselves from their disturbing thoughts through the process of cognitive defusion.

An example of cognitive defusion is replacing a thought, such as “I am an idiot,” with the thought of “There I go again—having the thought that I am an idiot.”

By Sharon Martin, MSW, LCSW

Self-criticism, or being overly hard on yourself, is usually based on cognitive distortions—rigid, all-or-nothing, perfectionist thinking. And it isn’t helpful or healthy.

By Barbara Neiman, author of The Adopted Teen Workbook

How many times a day do you experience disappointment? It can be as simple as discovering Dunkin’ Donuts no longer carries your favorite toasted coconut donut to not getting a promotion. Maybe your child or spouse’s behavior has really let you down, or a serious health issue has been revealed in a friend or yourself. How long do you stay disappointed?

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